“Could anything else go wrong today?” she told herself, looking up to God as she stood on the shoulder of the parkway, hood up, engine steaming, hazard lights flashing. She wiped the sweat that was pouring off her forehead as she drew her shirt up to her face, not caring what she exposed and to whom. It had to be the hottest day of the year, she thought silently.

            Her day started with a hurried rush having been up most of the night working on her presentation for a morning board meeting, and falling asleep on the sofa. She missed the alarm when it rang on the table next to the bed, waking up fifteen minutes before she should have been leaving for work. Rushing through her shower, she quickly dressed and hurried into the kitchen to down her glass of orange juice. Drinking too fast, she quickly choked, coughing up her juice down the front of her shirt. Sigh. Changing her shirt, she grabbed her purse and ran out the front door. She was late. She was very late.

            The morning traffic was a nightmare. And as she edged her way through the bumper to bumper traffic, trying to sip her coffee between the stop and go, she sighed. What happened to that carefree young girl she used to be, living each day to its fullest? When did she turn into this stressed out, middle-aged, worrisome woman who was now trying to rush to a job that was barely paying her living expenses? As she worked her car through the traffic, she reminisced about her younger days, losing herself in her thoughts. “Snap out of it!” she scolded herself out loud. “Get a grip on reality!” she shouted.  “Those days are long gone so get over it!” she yelled. Sigh. She knew she needed to snap out of it. She was spending too much time dwelling on yesterday when she needed to look toward tomorrow. She knew it was crushing her spirit.

            And so she plowed forward through rush hour traffic, finally making it to work. She parked her car and quickly ran to the office. She glanced at her watch and knew the meeting had already begun without her. As she entered her office building, the security guard warned her that her boss had already called down to the desk asking whether she had entered the building yet. She nodded and ran as fast as she could into the elevator and up to her office. As she entered, everyone she passed warned her that the bosses were looking for her, as they stood shaking their heads with pity. She really didn’t need to hear it. She dropped her things at her cubicle and ran toward the conference room, stopping at the doors to adjust her clothes and take a deep breath. She walked as calmly as she could through the doors.

            The meeting stopped. All eyes looked to her as she entered the room, begging forgiveness and making excuses. No one smiled. As she approached the front of the room, ready to proceed with her presentation, a cold feeling came over her as she suddenly realized she left her presentation on her desk at home. A bead of sweat appeared on her brow followed by hundreds more as her heart began to pound uncontrollably. She had rushed out so quickly this morning that she had forgotten the presentation she had spent all night working on. The room grew silent. All eyes were looking toward her. Her bosses were waiting for her to begin. She felt sick. As she opened her mouth to speak, as she tried to explain, she vomited. All over the conference table in front of her. All over her boss’s Brooks Brothers suit. All over her job.

            As she rinsed her mouth and washed her face in the ladies’ room, she looked up at the woman staring back at her in the mirror. She noticed the lines on her face, the grey in her hair, the sadness in her eyes. What happened to her? Where did the years go? How long has she looked like this? And as she stood there staring at herself, the door opened and a look of pity quietly summoned her to the boss’s office. It was time. Walking past each cubicle she tried not to look at the faces staring at her, tried not to listen to the whispered pity, tried not to acknowledge when a hand reached and touched her arm. She walked down the aisle trying to hold her head high, feeling as if she was walking to an execution. It hung heavy in the air. She was waiting for someone to yell “Dead man walking”. It was all that was missing from the moment.

            As she anticipated, her boss fired her that morning. She packed up her belongings as a security guard monitored her, turned in her keys, said her goodbyes and walked out for the last time, holding her little carton of personal belongings. She got into her car and sat there for a time, tears rolling down her face uncontrollably. There was no one to call. She had no one to tell. She sat there alone. Wiping her tears, blowing her nose, she composed herself and started the car. It was 11:30am. She headed home.

            And so, as she stood on the shoulder of the parkway, halfway home, car overheated, she thought. “What am I doing here?”  She walked over to a shady spot and sat down under the trees that lined the shoulder of the road, waiting for her car to cool down. She thought again about that young girl she used to be. That carefree, happy girl she once was. And as she reminisced, it hit her, “What was keeping her here?” She has no job, no ties that bind, no one and nothing to keep her tied to this life. A smile came to her face. Her eyes brightened as her mind awakened to her possibilities. She had an epiphany. She was free. Free to start again. She stood and looked up at heaven, realizing that God had given her the answer she had been asking Him for. God had thrown open a door for her. It was up to her to step through.

            Her car started, and she headed home to pack her things and leave. She was taking only what she could pack into her car. She was headed for new possibilities. She was headed for new adventures. She smiled. The young girl inside her started to emerge once again. She rolled down all the windows and sang a favorite song from her college days as she sped along the parkway.  Her fear of living dissipated. It was replaced with excitement and anticipation. She felt released and she knew she would be alright.